I was reading a conversation in our community this week where lots of you reached out to support a leader who was struggling with behaviour issues in their school, and it reminded me of how draining it can be when you appear to have ‘tried everything’ and nothing seems to improve behaviour.
It’s at that moment, in my experience, when it pays to start from afresh, and
I always start with the child, and I ask the following questions:
1. What behaviours are they displaying?
2. Why are they doing that?
3. What has caused them to behave in that way?
4. How can we teach them an alternative way to communicate that they will learn from and enjoy doing instead?
5. Is there any support that we can tap into from external agencies?
6. Do they need any resources that will help them feel calmer / communicate with us / learn easier?
Then the most important thing that needs to happen is to talk to the child directly and ask them the same questions:
1. How do you feel about school?
2. What do you find easy / comfortable doing?
3. What do you struggle with?
4. What happens when you struggle?
5. Why do you find this hard?
6. What triggers that to happen?
7. How can we help?
8. How can you help? What would you do next time to make it better?
9. What do you need to make it better?
10. Why do you feel this way?
11. What words can you use when you feel like this?
You’ll be amazed at how much you can learn and improve the situation from talking things through together with the child, and with your colleagues.
Once I’ve completed those initial questions, I turn my attention to the environment the child is in. Do they feel safe, valued and listened to? If not, how can we improve that? What help do we need in order to improve that?
How do they find learning? Is it challenging for them? Is there anything we can do to make it easier and more accessible?
Once I've gathered all of that information, I always feel more confident in having high expectations of behaviour. If I feel I have put everything in place to support a child, and I know that they have everything they need to make good choices, and that they will be supported to do so, together and consistently as a team.
Children need boundaries and they need to feel safe in those boundaries.
This is when clarity, and consistency is key.
Stay strong to your expectations and over time, and with making a point of celebrating the positive behaviours, the situation will improve.
Small changes, celebrated over time, make a big difference.
My most rewarding times as a leader was watching a child go from a very unhappy place to a much happier, confident person, who loved coming to school. It’s what I loved about teaching. The difference we can have on the individual, and how much you can help.
So if you are struggling with behaviour issues in your school, try these questions and see what you can learn from it.
I hope they help you too.
Lucy